"My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality."
"When you cut that eggplant up and you roast it in the oven and you make the tomato sauce and you put it on top, your soul is in that food, and there's something about that that can never be made by a company that has three million employees."
"I get really cool gifts, and I know this sounds really lame, but I think one of the best gifts I've ever received was the Easy Bake Oven when I was younger. When I was little, I loved to bake! I want to get one now so I can make weird mini desserts for people."
"The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C - not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it."
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."