"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
"You don't want flame to hit your food. Flame is bad. Flame does nasty things to food. It makes soot and it makes deposits of various chemicals that are not too good for us. The last thing you really want to see licking at your food while it's on a grill is an actual flame."
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."