"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."
"The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'"
"There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices."
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
"It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
"I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow."
"I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie."
"When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is - and it's because comic acting isn't taken seriously enough. It's a discipline. You know instantly - either you're funny and getting the laughs, or you're not."
"In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows."